Just curious. Not that I don't love coming up with 2 name combinations for my "some-day" children, I just wonder where it originates from and why we get 2 names.
Other than that, I cannot contain my excitement to get back into school! I got accepted to Penn State's online campus or "world campus" as they call it. I've been waiting since the end of February to hear back from them. I'm just going to start with a few classes and pursue my Associates in one of their 'family services' programs and go from there. I've decided I'm going to be a counselor. I'm good at talking .. and listening (most of the time). Why not get paid to do it?
One day - my masters in Sociology. I don't care if I'm 95 when I get it, either. Just as long as I can learn as much as I possibly can about people and why we do the crazy things we do.
I'm ok with crazy, <3
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I like the name Noah. Sometimes, I just say it to myself.
Summer is taking SO FREAKING LONG to get here. & I'm sure, just like always, it'll be over in a flash. This summer marks a lot of milestones for me though.
John's death, a year ago June 11. The news of an engagement I'd rather not have known about a year ago whatever day the Gay Pride parade is/was. A year ago July I moved out for the millionth time, but learned more about myself than I ever have.
My friends have ceased to exist, but I'm so content with that. I know who my true friends are, the only thing I really miss are the what-used-to-be's and I think that comes with every chapter in life. I think it's human to hold on to the past sometimes. And I shouldn't be so quick to say I have no friends, just that the one's I thought were my friends are no longer in my life. Abi is my best friend. No one could stand seeing my face every day and still want to do things together. I don't know where I'd be without her. She starts her first job soon, so very excited for her! and I have friendships with the family I work for, and without those .. boy, I'd be lost. & then there's my boy-friend, whom I've grown so very close to in such a short time. I never imagined being treated so well and not sabotaging it. Not a day goes by that I don't let myself forget how lucky I am to have him. & a year go I had only hoped for a relationship such as ours.
I am happy, content, excited. I like where my life is and everyone who's in it. But I still have anger, and that's what's bothering me enough to direct me here while the kids are playing in the sand box. I still feel foolish for trusting people I shouldn't have. It still bothers me that I did so much for others but it wasn't enough to earn their loyalty or their honesty. and it drives me crazy because my life is good, with good people in it - and yet I think about these things often enough to get upset sometimes. Which jeopardizes my current relationships and circumstances.
and I have to leave it at that .. cuz I'm not really sure what it means, what to do or how cope.
John's death, a year ago June 11. The news of an engagement I'd rather not have known about a year ago whatever day the Gay Pride parade is/was. A year ago July I moved out for the millionth time, but learned more about myself than I ever have.
My friends have ceased to exist, but I'm so content with that. I know who my true friends are, the only thing I really miss are the what-used-to-be's and I think that comes with every chapter in life. I think it's human to hold on to the past sometimes. And I shouldn't be so quick to say I have no friends, just that the one's I thought were my friends are no longer in my life. Abi is my best friend. No one could stand seeing my face every day and still want to do things together. I don't know where I'd be without her. She starts her first job soon, so very excited for her! and I have friendships with the family I work for, and without those .. boy, I'd be lost. & then there's my boy-friend, whom I've grown so very close to in such a short time. I never imagined being treated so well and not sabotaging it. Not a day goes by that I don't let myself forget how lucky I am to have him. & a year go I had only hoped for a relationship such as ours.
I am happy, content, excited. I like where my life is and everyone who's in it. But I still have anger, and that's what's bothering me enough to direct me here while the kids are playing in the sand box. I still feel foolish for trusting people I shouldn't have. It still bothers me that I did so much for others but it wasn't enough to earn their loyalty or their honesty. and it drives me crazy because my life is good, with good people in it - and yet I think about these things often enough to get upset sometimes. Which jeopardizes my current relationships and circumstances.
and I have to leave it at that .. cuz I'm not really sure what it means, what to do or how cope.
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