easy come, easy go

Alas, I have created yet another blog. I can't even recall how many of these I have in the internet world, but I do know one thing: I will maintain this one.

Lets start at the beginning, since that seems to be the most logical. I'm here to reflect on my life and what I've learned in the last 25 years. Hopefully, writing it down will allow me to learn and prevent me from making the same mistake twice. Although, I'm hard-headed, so the latter may be unavoidable.

My life has changed so drastically in the last year. I've gone from 'in a relationship' on facebook, to 'single' while my ex has gone from 'in a relationship with me' to 'single' to 'in a relationship with her' to 'engaged to her' to 'single'. My mom has gone from 'married' to 'widowed' - in real life. My family dynamic has changed, my living arrangements have changed, even my future has been slightly altered due to the unraveling of my life in the last year. I have changed friends, I have changed beliefs, I've even changed habits. The one thing that hasn't changed much is me. Well, until recently.

I'm angry at myself for taking so many good things in my life for granted .. and letting so many bad things go unnoticed. I'm tired of being unemployed and unmotivated. My future has had no direction but things are slowly changing. Emphasis on slowly.

I have begun the unbearable process of self-awareness. I have officially begun to change who I am and what I stand for. What I want in life is finally something I'm considering as an option. I'm not quite sure why I never considered it before.

So that's why I'm here, to document my progress, to keep myself motivated, and to have something concrete to reflect on later down the road.

Here goes nothin'.