Patience is a virtue.

Good things are happening again, I am so grateful. Today my mom admitted, out-loud, that she's always been hardest on me. My brother didn't believe her, I was shocked that someone else agreed - especially my mom.

Then she went on to ask my brother what I've done in order to live here .. and he began listing the things I get up and do every day.

Again, I was shocked. This time I was just surprised anyone else noticed the work I've been putting in. I think I'm also a bit shocked that I've kept it up.

I have learned so much in the past 2 months it astounds me, but what's more astonishing, I've actually applied what I'm learning and it seems to be working. Looking back I realize that over the last 2 years my only priority in life has been Tyler. I have dedicated all my energy, time and thought into making my relationship with him work. It's not healthy .. it's certainly not helping and up until recently, I really had no idea how much it affected me. I've given up everything - not because I only wanted him - but because 'making it work' took everything I had. I had no energy, motivation or determination for anything else. Now that I've started the process of getting over him I'm forced to fill my time and thoughts with something - anything else. The result?

I've spent a good 2 hours refurbishing my care.com profile to reflect who I am in a professional manner and begun applying for positions that really seem to fit what I'm looking for. I have an interview Wednesday evening.

I've taken my dog for a walk for 20-40 minutes every day for a week now. She listens so much better to me now and I'm losing weight!

I've spent the last 2 Sunday's volunteering at the nursery at Church. I think that's what gave me the urge to try nannying again.

I've also been trying really hard to remain positive and patient! Although I've had a few rough days (including this morning) I'm finding it easier to pull myself back up and get through the day. (Usually if I'm in a rotten mood my walk cheers me up).

The last thing that I've been focusing my energy and thought into is my relationship with God. The church I go to is more traditional than I'm used to. The services take quite a bit of thought and processing before I'm able to understand what to take away from it. It's also giving me a ton of questions. Despite my intense desire to quit going - the people have inspired me to hang in there. They're so friendly and are genuinely curious about me and my life. They really want to help. I think it's giving me the ability to see God in different aspects of my life and it's definitely help me to appreciate what I have. Just in time for Thanksgiving last Thursday.

It was so refreshing to hear my mom and my brother talk about my accomplishments. It's so nice to be recognized for trying.

I've always been slow, I do things at my own pace - usually 20 steps behind everyone else - but I get there.

& that's what really counts.